My friends in elementary school got white bread sandwiches, fruit in a cup, and a candy bar in their lunches. Let’ just say that when my lunch box opened, no one was interested in trading. My friends also got paid for good grades. I didn’t.  And frankly, we all turned out just fine.

We never paid our kids for good grades. Yep, we stuck to the “Success is its own reward” paradigm. Our twins are slogging their way through college with better- than-average results.

If I had it to do over again?

I’d pay.

Why? Because an extra incentive can establish a vision — an understanding of what they are capable of — that they can draw from forever.

My cross country coach helped me trim a few minutes by kicking my heels on the course. Brutal, but I never forgot that I had some extra “juice” when I needed it. I placed 3rd in the central state finals.

Our daughter hesitated to play drums in front of a large crowd. I pressured her into it and she flourished.

The bird gets pushed from the nest. They learn to fly.

A little nudge.

You get the idea.

Success is its own reward. But sometimes it can use a little bump.

Few things are as rewarding as looking at your children and honestly believing that they were raised well. That happened to me for a moment the other day.

Of course the other 95% of the time, we parents worry that we’ve done something, if not everything, wrong. So, in our worst moments, like when we’re seriously considering disowning our kids, don’t worry. We’re just like the other 150 million parents here in the US.

in our worst moments, we can all take a lesson from “The Sound of Music” and think of our favorite moments in parenting. Go ahead and write ‘em down (or share them here). By the time you’re done, you’ll be calmer and thinking ahead to when it won’t be so crazy.

Here’s what I came up with today:

1. First eye to eye look (at birth)
2. Her first reach to grasp a leaf
3. All of us in a giggling, wrestling pile
4. Their faces the first time at Disneyland
5. Smiles at the first award, championship or published work
6. All five of us performing music together
7. Intense discussions until the small hours of the morning
8. A call to mom after biology class, thanking her for going through birth (specifically a C-Section)
9. A letter from overseas listing how we’re so similar, so different, and celebrating both.
10. Unsolicited confirmation from all three that we’ve achieved our family motto: To inspire.

What’s your list? Share it and you’ll feel better.

I suppose if a company made dolls in the likeness of my daughter or sons , I’d be flattered first, and then indignant if they didn’t ask for or get permission.

Can’t say I blame Michelle Obama for telling off Ty Company – maker of Beanie Babies, for introducing two new Ty Girlz Dolls named “Sweet Sasha” and “Marvelous Malia”

What bothers me more is Ty’s statement in response to CNN’s questions last January:

“Information concerning the development of our products and how we come up with names, how we select them, how we trademark — that’s considered as proprietary,”

and

The dolls follow “the exact patterns” used for the other Ty Girlz dolls, “so we did not make the dolls to physically resemble either of the Obama girls.”

Fess up Ty. Even better, ask permission. You’d probably get a Yes from most parents. But prepare to face some fury if you try to profit without permission.

Well, the fury seemed to have worked.

Ty announced, just a month after release that the dolls shall henceforth be called “Marvelous Mariah” and “Sweet Sydney.” And profits from the sale of the two $10 dolls are also being donated to charity.

Nice recovery Ty, but it still leaves a slightly bitter taste. Let’s chalk this one up to miscommunication and look for better behavior. We’d do that for our kids – eh?

Fathers and mothers have lost the idea that the highest aspiration they might have for their children is for them to be wise. Specialized competence and success are all that they can imagine. — Allan Bloom, Philosopher 1930-1992

Reality in learning is great and this Playmobil Security Checkpoint is a great way to get kids ready for the process of traveling.

From the Manufacturer:
The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!

Or does she? Instead of writing our own reviews, we’ll simply pass along the ones from Amazon customers:

By loosenut (Seattle, WA)
I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillance society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillance System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Ghraib Interrogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).

By W. C. Isbell “roxybeast” (Oklahoma City, OK, USA) -

My family was planning a vacation to Europe, so I purchased this item to teach my twins about what to expect at the airport and hopefully, alleviate some of their anxiety. We also downloaded the actual TSA security checklist from the American Airlines website and then proceeded with our demonstration.

Well, first we had to round up a Barbie and a few Bratz dolls to play the other family members, so that cost us a few extra bucks at the Dollar General and it is aggravating that the manufacturer did not make this product “family-friendly.” Of course, since the playmobil Dad could not remove his shoes or other clothing items, unlike the Barbie, the playmobil security agent became suspicious and after waving her wand wildly a few dozen times, called her supervisor to whisk the Dad into a special body-cavity search room, (which incidentally led to quite an embarrassing and interesting discussion with my twin daughters about personal hygiene and a slight adjustment to the rules we had them memorize about touching by strangers).

But worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family’s suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise manipulate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks.

The girls started crying. They became so hysterical by the whole experience that we could not even get them in the car when the time came to actually take our trip, and so we had to cancel the whole thing at the last minute, losing over $7,000 in airfare and hotel charges that we could not recoup do to the last minute cancellations.

We’ve now spent an additional $3,000 to pay for the girls therapy and medication over the past year since this incident occurred, and the psychologists have told us that this will affect them for life, so much for their college fund and our retirement.

Then, to top it all off, when we tried to use to playmobil phone to call the company to ask for reimbursement, as you might expect, of course the dam thing didn’t even work; neither did our efforts to e-mail them using the computer screen on the baggage checkpoint; and our real-life efforts to contact them to obtain re-imbursement have also likewise been ignored.

Worse yet, we had the product tested and found out that it was positive for both lead paint and toxic chemicals, having been manufactured in China by workers holding formerly American jobs, so now we all have cancer and have been given only another year or so to live. My advice – educating your kids about airport security with this toy may actually be more harmful to them than just packing them in the darn luggage with some bottled water & hoping they survive.

By M. MCKNIGHT “reviewer” (US)
This toy would be a lot more realistic with about 350 people standing in line for an average of an hour. It still makes a nice set with the interrogation room.

Special thanks to Jennifer, one of the heroes of Canton OH for bringing this toy to our attention.

Kids in Soccer? A recent study suggests that sports can be too much of a good thing.

Sports = Bullies?

In a research study published in Developmental Psychology, Richard Lerner, Ph.D., professor of child development at Tufts’ School of Arts and Sciences reported that kids who “participate exclusively in sports have among the lowest scores on competence, confidence, character, connection, and caring, and a related positive quality, contribution. They also have the highest scores on behaviors such as bullying, substance use and depression.”

Substance Abuse?

Just Add 4-H to Reverse Detrimental Effects

The same study found that out of school programs that involve adult mentorship, life skills training, and opportunities for youth leadership can reverse any detrimental effects from a sports-only focus.

“…youth who combine sports with participation in a youth development program have the highest scores for positive development and contribution and the lowest scores for risk and problem behavior. Youth development programs are out-of-school-time activities that involve adult mentorship, life skills training, and opportunities for youth leadership. They include programs such as Boys & Girls Clubs, 4-H, Scouts and The First Tee.”

It should be noted that the researchers were paid by 4-H to develop a prior report.

We’ve all seen the parents who shuttle kids from swim practice to soccer to dance and to camps covering the same in the summer. These must be the exception in order to stand out. My guess is that most of us have good balance in our children’s activities.

The H1N1 Flu Virus might have a good side. Parents are spending more time with kids.

Several trends indicate that the threat of infection tips the scales towards homeschooling as an increasing number of children are forced to stay home to avoid infection.

Increases of sales of Educational Toys and Homeschooling Items are partially attributed to the virus.

Over six million kids in the US lack sufficient levels of Vitamin D, according to a Harvard Medical School study.

Early indications of vitamin D deficiency are profuse sweating, restlessness, and irritability. Of course, these are also indications of parenting. But seriously, long term deficiency can increase risk of heart disease, rickets, and weak bones.

After studying a bit, we learned that Vitamin D is stored mainly in the liver. It must be processed (metabolized) by the liver and kidneys into an active form called calcitriol This active form promotes absorption of calcium and phosphorus from the intestine. Calcium and phosphorus, which are minerals, are incorporated into bones to make them strong and dense (a process called mineralization). So, the vitamin is necessary for the formation, growth, and repair of bones. Good for us. Good for our kids.

Vitamin D also enhances immune function and improves muscle strength.

Requirements for vitamin D increase as people age, but the recommended amount for our kids was updated in 2008:

“The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated their guidelines in 2008 for vitamin D intake in infants, children, and teens. Their latest guidelines increased the recommended minimum daily intake from 200 IUs to 400 IUs per day of vitamin D for all infants, children, and adolescents beginning in the first few days of life.”

For the study, reported in the November issue of Pediatrics, Dr. Mansbach and colleagues collected data on about 5,000 children under age 12 who participated in the 2001-2006 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey.

Based on the data, the researchers found that 6.3 million U.S. children — almost one in 5 — were at less than the recommended 50 nmol/L level of vitamin D.

How to Boost Vitamin D

Sun exposure is best for obtaining vitamin D, because the skin manufactures the nutrient upon exposure to sunlight. However, during the winter, UVB rays in Northern states can be insufficient for vitamin D production, experts say, and sunscreen use in summer can also reduce the skin’s ability to produce vitamin D. Only a few foods contain vitamin D naturally, namely fatty fish such as salmon, egg yolks, some cheese and some meats, including liver. Milk and some cereals are fortified with vitamin D.

Mansbach recommends vitamin D supplements, especially for those living in areas where the sun is scarce in the winter. Here again, the authors say more research is needed to determine the appropriate dosage.

“Summer sunlight exposure is the major source of vitamin D for most people,” he said. “But [too much] sun exposure can cause sunburns and eventually skin cancer. Until more research is performed, we think the safest bet is to take vitamin D supplements,” he said.

Some experts argue that more foods, such as pasta and bread, should be fortified with vitamin D.

What’s the take away? Outdoor time has more value than just fresh air and physical exercise. It can help maintain a healthy balance of vitamin D. If you live in an area without much sun, a healthy diet will help,and vitamin supplements that include vitamin D can make a difference in the health of your child.

For more information on vitamin D, check out the Nemours Foundation.